Brother

I Love you

How innocent you are.

How life passes you by

without you knowing

 

I envy you

how time flies

how you never bleed

without realizing

 

I hate you

How you want what I am,

how you don’t believe

 

I despise you.

How you cry because of me,

how you can’t understand

 

Why you and me

can never become

what mother wants.

 

They say time will change us

and I’ve waited so long.

How naive I was

to ask a soul like yours

into this hell

 

How me and you

could never be the same

and I wish that we never will be

 

I love you

How you see the sun,

how the dark never comes

while I wander,

meaninglessly

under the pale moonlight sky.

 

I wish i could say goodbye

and never look back.

How disappointed mother would be.

 

I envy you

more than you know.

How I can never let you in

and so I shut you out.

 

Maybe one day I will change

and see the world as you do

as I have but for now

I curse your name…

 

For I hate myself,

for loving you.

 

 

 

  • I don’t know what to say, We had an fallout and i didn’t say what i felt and so…I hope this clarifies the emotion a bit more. I guess I just can’t stand how we are so different, but at the same time I want it to stay that way. I don’t want him to follow in my footsteps no matter if its normal for him to do so. I don’t want him to be me. I don’t want him to smoke, I don’t want him to leave school, I don’t want him to feel what depression feels like, I don’t want him to cut… I don’t want him to look up to me. I don’t want him around, just so i can see how he changes into me. I hate him for that and yet I love him more than even I want to believe.

Sorry….

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s